“The trouble is, you think you have time.” – Jack Kornfield
I spend a lot of my time trying to cherish each moment. I try to remember the details of an evening stroll or the taste of my favorite foods. I am also always trying to make each moment worth remembering. Lately I’ve been wondering if this obsession with the now is not just another tactic we use in an attempt to procrastinate. We can’t spend our Saturday night cleaning our home because we only live once and that would be a waste.
What if, in our attempt to make our life worth living, we accidentally stop living it?
The Pressure to Appreciate Everything
We hear this message everywhere: “cherish each moment and make it worth it because one day you’ll want to go back”. It’s in the movies and TV shows we watch, the songs we listen to, and the advice our loved ones give us. However, when we are so focused on trying to “live in the moment”, we actually stop living it and instead start judging the quality of it.
Instead of enjoying our evening stroll, we wonder if we should have gone to the movies with our friends. We can’t stay home because we should be out making memories.
Instead of getting our work done, we wonder if we should watch the new TV show on Netflix.
We can’t work on something important because there is always something else we could be doing that might be more enjoyable, more exciting, or more memorable.
Life Isn’t a Movie
Our lives include more than these textbook “memorable moments”. They include taking care of ourselves, our homes, and our tasks. These tasks are less glamorous than the magic movie moments we strive for, but they are part of a balanced, healthy life.
What’s most fascinating is that sometimes, in these quiet routines and seemingly meaningless tasks, there are memorable moments. We can’t predict which moments will be worth remembering, so we should aim to find a balance that works for our lives.
When Living in the Moment Becomes an Escape
As a procrastination researcher, I wonder if “living in the moment” isn’t just another way to avoid what needs to be done. We stay focused on today because thinking about tomorrow feels overwhelming. We chase experiences because planning for the future feels uncertain. We convince ourselves that responsibilities can wait because we need to “enjoy the present.”
There will always be a reason to wait.
There will always be another day to start and there will always be another tomorrow.
What you need to remember is that the future is created by what we choose to do today.
Taking care of our responsibilities, working toward goals, and doing difficult things are not signs that we are failing to appreciate life. They are often the very things that allow us to create a life we appreciate.
Maybe We Don’t Need to Hold Onto Every Moment
Maybe the goal isn’t to cherish every single moment. Maybe being present is not about squeezing meaning out of every moment before it disappears. Maybe it is about accepting that moments disappear, and trusting that the life we build from them is enough.
What unglamorous task have you been putting off recently under the guise of “enjoying the present”? Let me know in the comments below.
